Here are some examples of the work the children have produced when asked to create a piece of descriptive writing using the title 'Shipwrecked'. They spent time planning to create their own 'word pool' to dip into and have so far just written the first part of chapter one.
Shipwrecked by Riece
As I lay there I struggled to remember exactly what had happened. I remember the waves pouncing angrily as if they were reaching up to grab me. They were freezing cold and sounded like thunder crashing.
The wind was whistling crazily and was hitting the ship with strong loud gusts. Our ship bounced menacingly as the sea was racing like a roaring Jaguar. Lightening struck like sheets of glass falling, it helped light up the darkness of the ship. I felt terrified and I could taste the fear. The deafening, cracking of the mast falling is the last thing I remember.
Now as the sun beams down on my back the scorching heat burns my body. My dry mouth is made worse as I spit out the gritty sand. My whole body hurts, as I turn to see huge rocks like meteors glistening in the sun. Seagulls in their groups squawk above. I need a drink, all this sea and no drinking water. My stomach painfully grumbles. All I can hope for is help to come soon.
Shipwrecked by Abbie
The water touched my cheek washing away every grain of sand that had lain on top of me. The midnight sky made the sea seem like a black carpet sweeping across the land.
Seagulls cawing and the waves crashing against the shore could be heard for hours on end. The wind rushing through the leaves creating a rustling sound, like birds scratching through the sky. The rocks had grazed my body hurting me and making my eyes water.
I crawled across the shore looking for food and water. Through my desperate attempts to stand I finally got up on two feet and started to walk slowly and carefully trying not to hurt myself any further than I had already done. My wet clothes weighed me down I decided to take off my T-shirt which was already ruined from the ordeal which I had just encountered.
I had no idea who or what shared the island I had landed on, I just knew I was lucky I had survived, and that I needed to survive further somehow.
The waves lapped quietly against the shore and on the horizon I could see the light creeping up.
Shipwrecked by Joel
I wake from unconsciouness as my eyes behold the majestic ocean with it's waves crashing furiously into the rocks. I feel cold yet the sun is beating down on my back. I feel shivers up my spine as the vast sea lays at my feet like an open book. The bitter taste of salt is stuck on my tongue, icy cold water dripping from my head.
The wind is howling like a hungry wolf around me, the wind's icy fingers creep up on my shoulder as a ghostly sound as their ghostly sound fills the air. The trees are dancing and the sand is flying everywhere as far as the eye can see.
The sea is moving rapidly over the rocks, I see a pile of scrap wood which was once a ship. Torn drenched sails hanging on the scrap wood and a tangle of ropes mingled with the weed.
Suddenly the sun disappears and the worst is yet to come. A flash lights up the sky followed by a rumble like a lion's roar. I feel helpless and defenceless as an uneasy, out of place feeling creeps over me.
I look for shelter behind a rock. The smooth glossy rock makes me feel more comfortable as I hear the earsplitting calls from the seagulls.
My thirst takes the better of me as my mouth dries up. I feel like dying because I may never get home again.
Shipwrecked by Lucy
The waves sweep around me as I lay on the beach, I feel the gritty sand on my face, I hear the sound of seagulls as the hot sun beams down on me.
As I lay there I struggle to remember exactly what happened, I remember the wind howling fiercely as we tried to control the ship. The lightening striking as the the ship crashes into the rocks. Thunder roared as a giant wave sweeps overhead, almost turning the boat over. I remember the sun disappearing behind black, angry clouds. Seagulls screeching as the waves try to reach them.
Iceburgs tore at the bottom of the ship. I remember our starved call for help. We tear through piercing rocks and furious waves. Lightening striking again and again and thunder rumbling loudly.
Shipwrecked by Alycia
The hot sun burned my aching back as I lay on the wet sand after a horrid night. As I move I struggle to remember exactly what had happened. I remember I was at sea in a big storm and loads of rain. I saw rushing waves and heard whistling from the wind and the wild flapping of the sails. As I sailed on in danger the wind was howling in my ear like a wolf in winter. The lightning struck endlessly the thunder punding like ten drums.
When I ended up on the beach I was in pain from hunger and thirst. The seagulls were annoying me but so too were the sand and rocks.
Shipwrecked by Katana
I lay, blinking fiercely, the sun bleaching out my scruffy hair. The heat slapping my face and burning my sand covered cheeks. Soft waves lapped against my feet and hissed gently. An itchy blanket covered me. Sand everywhere! My ears, nose, mouth, toes and even my eyes were covered. Circling seagulls squawk scornfully at my appearance. Crabs crawl cautiously to the now gentle, safe sea. Seaweed drapes across my shoulders like a gentle scarf. The sea cools down my burning body from the beaming sun. It had once been my worst enemy but now it was protecting me from the awful heat. It suddenly occurred to me what had happened......the sound of the gentle sea became rough and as I closed my eyes I remembered.......
Shipwrecked by Thomas
I slowly started to wake. I could taste salt in my mouth. I could feel sweat dripping down my face. Seagulls were squawking as the sun sorched my back. My ship groaned painfully by the rocks. The sea started to rage again, which made me feel extremely tense. Lightening crashed loudly and thunder began to growl.
I pushed myself up from the gritty sand, the island was small like my ship but it seemed much bigger than it had looked. The sea was black and inky as the waves lapped the shore. The seagulls squawked on the rocks waiting for their lunch. The rocks poke out of the sea like teeth.
Sand is glued to my hands and face. I look around, the caves seem like black mazes. There is no signs of life other than me and the gulls. The only noises are the screeching gulls and the sand crunching and sea hissing.
I am not entirely sure how I got here, or what destroyed my ship. The icy frigid wind stabs at me like frozen daggers. My thirst is like an empty dry well that will never be quenched, my hunger unbearable and almost suicidal. The only food I could spot were coconuts, and they were few.
I made my way to the centre of the island as the savage waves smashed the shore. The night slowly crept in. I woke the next morning to find gulls and coconuts gone! There was now only fish I could eat, everything else would probably kill me, but to catch a fish I would most likely have to take my own life. This is a battle for survival.
Saturday, 9 December 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)